For those affected by the telecommunications outage yesterday across Canada, I have one word of advice: Relax.
Though the inability to use debit cards or even make phone calls is a difficulty, and absence of mobile Internet causes heart palpitations in many, it is hardly the end of the world. For those of us fortunate enough to not need emergency services for the duration it was simply an inconvenience. We were disconnected for a while. Now we are not. It passed. We survived. It was not the end of the world.
Nor was it, as some of the wilder elements theorized, caused by the following (as far as we know…):
- ‘them’ doing another practice run before taking over the world (again)
- Elon Musk
- The Russians (or Chinese)
- Big Tech trying to force us into a cashless society (still trying to figure that one out)
- Tim Hortons
- Republicans (or Democrats)
These are all actual theories that floated across my screen as I browsed the Internet from the safety of my underground bunker nestled deep beneath Lake Ontario. Honestly, people can be silly sometimes.
Which is why I thought now is an ideal time to revisit this product range I launched some time ago as a countermeasure to such paranoia, and simply help people everywhere just calm down and CTFO.
This useful advice can be applied to almost any stress-inducing occasion, and can be considered a mantra for society today. Available in your choice of 40+products, this design can be worn or displayed with pride at home or work, in the gym, even the checkout at the grocery store. When that person ahead of you in line starts ranting embarrassingly simply smile, and let your CTFO speak for you. Be a silent hero.
Not being able to use Facebook for a few hours is not worth stressing over or going into conspiracy theory meltdown about. Though some were genuinely affected by this outage, the great majority were not. Most got through with some minor inconvenience and lived to visit the Internet again. Debit machines started working. Life rolled on. The sun rose. Things continue to return to normality. This was just another bump in the road.
If you proudly own a CTFO item then the next time something happens that isn’t actually the end of the world even though much of social media goes off the deep end saying it is, you will be ready to face it with a smile. Or even when something doesn’t happen. People, this is genuinely good advice for every day, for every one of us.
There are bigger things to genuinely worry about. So relax. And CTFO.
The products below and many more can be found at my merch store, here.
Link opens a new tab. Browse, purchase, enjoy. Life should always be this simple.
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